A number of people have been encouraging me to write more in my blog. In the past year, I have had a lot of encouragement by some dominant men to indulge deeply into the sissy lifestyle. Some men want me to be their sissy slave. Others are looking more at a Daddy/sissy relationship. Either way I would be under their control and fully feminized, sissified, dominated, and dedicated to their desires. I must confess when I chat with a Dom about such things, I am totally enthralled and truly excited in the most erotic kind of way. As a submissive sissy, I find being ultra feminine, sexy, and the feelings of vulnerability and humiliation are so very intense. I love to please and find a deep desire to submit. Several different offers have been so very alluring.
In any of these situations I would be expected to be highly sissified at home wearing very short frilly sissy style dresses that do not cover my stocking tops or garters. I would be expected to wear a corset regularly, be in chastity all the time, and often plugged to keep my sissy ass ready for use. I can see myself accepting this role because I know that my sissy yearnings are so deep that I want this so very much. In addition I was told that periodically I was to be put into bondage and on occasion punished. Once again, I yearn for this type for treatment.
I have come to realize over time that I am a rather submissive sissy. As a male, I am such an effeminate pansy that no woman would want me for anything but a sissy maid. I am a failure as a man, but I am also proud of that fact too. I now know that I do not ever want to have sex with a woman again. It has been many years since I have, but I don’t want to have sex with a woman as a man. I want to have sex as a woman with a man, or better yet as a pantywaist sissy with a man. In the relationships I have had with men, I have always pleased the men but never received reciprocal pleasure. I like that. I like being used. I like being filled with cum and staying hot and horny to be ready to please a man again and again. My sexuality is totally linked to my subbie sissy mindset. But in addition, my fetishistic crossdressing is also an intense part of my sexual mindset. I love being dressed hyper girlie in the most over the top frilly attire possible.
So with this mindset why do I hesitate to indulge totally in the sissy lifestyle? It seems I have all this baggage of commitments to others which would need to be completely eliminated. It is such a hard decision and I agonize over it often. I so much want to delve into the sissy lifestyle but continue to hold back. At least you can see what a fairy I am by some of my recent pictures.