Friday, April 11, 2014

Two sissy assignments from Sir

Now Sir has given me two assignments which I must complete in the next few days

Sissy assignment 1: This weekend I am to wear stockings, garter belt, corset, and high heels 24/7 from the time I get home from work on Friday to the time I go back to work on Monday. That means I must even sleep in my corset, stockings, and high heels. Sir said that would help change my sissy thinking. I don’t know if it will be so, but I will obey Sir’s wishes and do as he directs. I will report on my feelings and the results of this assignment. It is Friday evening and I am attired in panties, bra, two garter belts holding up two pair of stockings, wearing a tight overbust corset, and high heels. Tomorrow I am going to the beauty salon to get my hair cut, colored, and styled as I do on a regular basis. But the difference is that tomorrow I will be all trussed up in layers of lingerie and constricting garments. Stay tuned for the assignment results.

Sissy assignment 2: When I went to Erotic Cabaret to buy stockings and corsets last Thursday, I went as a male but wearing stockings and high heels. Sir wanted me to do this with me as an obvious male but wearing only womens clothing and presenting a rather faggy male image. Due to a computer glitch I did not receive the email in time, so I have to redo the shopping assignment as a faggy male. I am also instructed to make three stops and linger to show off my faggy male status. It is required for me to wear a corset with two pairs of hose, girly jeans tucked into my high-heeled boots, a femme top, but no wig or bra so people would see me as a sissy male.  I should make at least 3 stops; a drug store, convenience store, and grocery store. Pictures are also expected. I have never done this before. I have gone out in select areas as a male in femme attire, but never so many mainstream places where I am to be seen, and never so overtly effeminate. This is scheduled for early next week. I am very apprehensive about this assignment. I am thinking a lot about where I am going to go and what I am going to say should anyone make a comment. Sir told me I should tell them that I am doing this to please my boyfriend. I will be an effeminate sissyboi in public and will be apprehensive, but I will comply with Sir's directions like a good sissyboi. I will report my results soon per Sir’s directions. I do hope Sir will be pleased.

Getting back on track

I must confess that I have not upheld all the commitments I have made on this blog. It is hard to do when you are doing it on your own. Even a sissy gets lazy. However, a man now is helping me get back on track. A dominant man is just what I need to help me overcome my sissy weakness, someone strong to keep a firm hand on a prissy effeminate sissified male like me.

So this past week it started. Sir started by making sure I wear stockings and a garter belt to work every day. In fact He decided that I should be wearing two pair of stockings to work with garters to hold them up, in addition to my wearing panties as I have continued to do. He also decided that I am to wear a corset or girdle to work EVERY DAY under my male attire. This all represents a big upgrade to my lingerie dressing.

In order to wear a corset on a regular basis, I desperately needed more corsets to wear. So on Thursday I went to Erotic Cabaret after work in male work attire but wearing stockings and 5” high heels. I asked for help with the corsets and the young woman there was quite helpful. I tried on 2 corsets over my clothes in the middle of the store while perched on my high heels but obviously a male. I bought both corsets. Now since I have new instructions to wear two pairs of stockings every day, I figured I needed to buy more stockings, so I bought 8 additional pair. Now maybe I am ready.    
The past several days this has strongly affected my mindset during the work day. Sometimes it was hard to concentrate because the tight corset and constant tug of the two garter belts on my taut stockings is quite noticeable. However, I must confess that I deeply love wearing womens attire and find this both disconcerting and exciting.

Confused sissy

A number of people have been encouraging me to write more in my blog. In the past year, I have had a lot of encouragement by some dominant men to indulge deeply into the sissy lifestyle. Some men want me to be their sissy slave. Others are looking more at a Daddy/sissy relationship. Either way I would be under their control and fully feminized, sissified, dominated, and dedicated to their desires. I must confess when I chat with a Dom about such things, I am totally enthralled and truly excited in the most erotic kind of way. As a submissive sissy, I find being ultra feminine, sexy, and the feelings of vulnerability and humiliation are so very intense. I love to please and find a deep desire to submit. Several different offers have been so very alluring.
In any of these situations I would be expected to be highly sissified at home wearing very short frilly sissy style dresses that do not cover my stocking tops or garters. I would be expected to wear a corset regularly, be in chastity all the time, and often plugged to keep my sissy ass ready for use. I can see myself accepting this role because I know that my sissy yearnings are so deep that I want this so very much. In addition I was told that periodically I was to be put into bondage and on occasion punished. Once again, I yearn for this type for treatment.

I have come to realize over time that I am a rather submissive sissy. As a male, I am such an effeminate pansy that no woman would want me for anything but a sissy maid. I am a failure as a man, but I am also proud of that fact too. I now know that I do not ever want to have sex with a woman again. It has been many years since I have, but I don’t want to have sex with a woman as a man. I want to have sex as a woman with a man, or better yet as a pantywaist sissy with a man. In the relationships I have had with men, I have always pleased the men but never received reciprocal pleasure. I like that. I like being used. I like being filled with cum and staying hot and horny to be ready to please a man again and again. My sexuality is totally linked to my subbie sissy mindset. But in addition, my fetishistic crossdressing is also an intense part of my sexual mindset. I love being dressed hyper girlie in the most over the top frilly attire possible.
So with this mindset why do I hesitate to indulge totally in the sissy lifestyle? It seems I have all this baggage of commitments to others which would need to be completely eliminated. It is such a hard decision and I agonize over it often. I so much want to delve into the sissy lifestyle but continue to hold back. At least you can see what a fairy I am by some of my recent pictures.