I will never be with a woman as a man, ever again. I am committed to a role as a total pansy, always having sex dressed up as a girl and always taking the submissive role. I never expect to receive pleasure and always know that it is my role to be sure to provide it. I will be like this forever, no longer being a man, and no longer even having the desire to be a man. I have given up any hope that I will be anything other than the prissy fairy that I am. That is what I now want to be.
Since I am an effeminate sissy and that I like to dress like a pretty girl, Perhaps I should be dating men. As a sissy, I have become a quivering pansy. I cannot please women, so perhaps it is men that I should please. After all, it's that what girls do? And I certainly want to look and act like one.
I was recently asked about my ultimate goals. As to my goals, I am somewhat split. I know that I
want to totally rid myself of male attire and only dress femininely. That is for certain. Most of the time I go out dressed as a slightly upscale normal woman and pass well in public. I do enjoy this very much and go to straight piano bars as a woman and am known and accepted as one.
But then there is my sissy side that wants to express itself as well. It drives me to be exaggeratedly ultra feminine as a girl and to also appear as a sissified male. I have had many thoughts and fantasies about being dominated by either a Master or a Mistress. I think being dominated by a Master might make me feel more feminine and more submissive. If I were to take this path, I think I would do it on an occassional basis rather than permanently. Of course, I can only imagine where that might lead me.
I suspect that a Master would force me to dress publicly as an overly effeminate sissified male at times and in sissy style little girl dresses at other times. He would humiliate me and put me in uncomfortable situations to break my remaining male ego. After all, a guy in femme clothes doesn't get much acknowledgement as a man in public. This would also reinforce my sissy nature.
Privately in his presence, I would prance around in high heels and lingerie, or in a frilly maid's outfit. I would cook and clean for him and he would use me when he pleased. It is likely I would be subjected to some bondage when he used me for his pleasure. I would be all dolled up in lingerie and he might put me in an armbinder. I would be there teetering on 5" heels and slowly bend over so he could have his way with me. He would do this in front of a mirror so I could see myself, see what I had become, see what he had turned me into, an effeminate submissive pantywaist sissy male. I would suffer his verbal commentary about my nature and situation and be forced to beg to please him, something which I would soon learn to crave.
So I don't know what I really want but certainly think about the different directions. But no matter what, I want to be femmed to the hilt.