Sunday, July 29, 2007

Photo update on girlie attire at the gym

Just an update and a few pictures on my girlie gym attire. Initially I wore a complete set of women's attire that was more unisex.

My second generation of attire was more feminine and everything was a mix of pink, black and white. It also included more femme jewelry. I did get a lot of very obviously strange looks but only a few comments.

Now, my third generation of femme gym attire is nearly all pink. That's right, pink capri's, pink top, pink lipstick, pink socks, pink jewelry, all the way down to matching pink panties. The new pictures show this well. Since the pictures, I have added wide pink shoelaces and will be getting more obviously noticable feminine jewelry.

I do change in the locker room and get some odd looks. How far will I take this? I don't know. I do know that dressing in femme attire helps me keep focused on my goal of looking more feminine by being in good trim shape to fit into the extensive pretty girlie wardrobe I have. I also love looking so prissy and girlie. I continue to be such a pansy and love it so.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Mistress Tammy changes direction

It seems that many of us have more than one aspect to our personalities, and my transvestite Mistress Tammy is one of them. She has recently informed me that she wishes to change her role from Mistress to sissy. Instead of being a woman in public, she wants to dress as a little girl in a cute sissy dress like me. She has even expressed a desire to be on her knees sucking cock like a true pansy. So it seems that we will now be sissy girlfriends, although I will still be required to please her when she is in town. I will now have to consider whether or not I should seek a new Mistress.

Mistress Tammy has been a great inspiration and started me on my way to being the pansy that I am. It won't be the same with tammy in her new role, but I do like seeing boys dressed as sissy girls like me, and we will adapt and have a great time together when she is in town. Sissy tammy is now on her way to becoming an absolute fairy. How cute is that?

Update: tammy is being a real sissy male, going out in capri pants and high heels as a guy. That is so cute. What is even better, is that tammy will still be Mistress Tammy to me. I was told not to get a replacement and would still belong to her. I can handle Mistress Tammy being both sissy and Dominant, but my role will remain as only a submissive sissy.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Total pansy, taking the feminine role, a possible new direction

I will never be with a woman as a man, ever again. I am committed to a role as a total pansy, always having sex dressed up as a girl and always taking the submissive role. I never expect to receive pleasure and always know that it is my role to be sure to provide it. I will be like this forever, no longer being a man, and no longer even having the desire to be a man. I have given up any hope that I will be anything other than the prissy fairy that I am. That is what I now want to be.

Since I am an effeminate sissy and that I like to dress like a pretty girl, Perhaps I should be dating men. As a sissy, I have become a quivering pansy. I cannot please women, so perhaps it is men that I should please. After all, it's that what girls do? And I certainly want to look and act like one.

I was recently asked about my ultimate goals. As to my goals, I am somewhat split. I know that I
want to totally rid myself of male attire and only dress femininely. That is for certain. Most of the time I go out dressed as a slightly upscale normal woman and pass well in public. I do enjoy this very much and go to straight piano bars as a woman and am known and accepted as one.

But then there is my sissy side that wants to express itself as well. It drives me to be exaggeratedly ultra feminine as a girl and to also appear as a sissified male. I have had many thoughts and fantasies about being dominated by either a Master or a Mistress. I think being dominated by a Master might make me feel more feminine and more submissive. If I were to take this path, I think I would do it on an occassional basis rather than permanently. Of course, I can only imagine where that might lead me.

I suspect that a Master would force me to dress publicly as an overly effeminate sissified male at times and in sissy style little girl dresses at other times. He would humiliate me and put me in uncomfortable situations to break my remaining male ego. After all, a guy in femme clothes doesn't get much acknowledgement as a man in public. This would also reinforce my sissy nature.

Privately in his presence, I would prance around in high heels and lingerie, or in a frilly maid's outfit. I would cook and clean for him and he would use me when he pleased. It is likely I would be subjected to some bondage when he used me for his pleasure. I would be all dolled up in lingerie and he might put me in an armbinder. I would be there teetering on 5" heels and slowly bend over so he could have his way with me. He would do this in front of a mirror so I could see myself, see what I had become, see what he had turned me into, an effeminate submissive pantywaist sissy male. I would suffer his verbal commentary about my nature and situation and be forced to beg to please him, something which I would soon learn to crave.

So I don't know what I really want but certainly think about the different directions. But no matter what, I want to be femmed to the hilt.